One of the most common questions divorcing parents ask is: “Do mothers always get custody?” While it may have once been common for courts to favor mothers, especially in the early 20th century, that is no longer the legal standard today. Child custody decisions are now based on one core principle: the best interests of the child.
The Myth of Automatic Maternal Custody
Historically, mothers were often granted primary custody under what was known as the “tender years doctrine,”which presumed young children were better off with their mothers. However, most states—including Illinois—have moved away from this idea, recognizing that both parents can be equally capable of providing love, care, and stability.
Modern family courts now take a gender-neutral approach, meaning no parent is automatically favored because of their sex.
What Courts Really Consider
In a child custody case, the court evaluates a variety of factors to determine what arrangement serves the child’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs. These may include:
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Each parent’s relationship with the child
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The child’s wishes (depending on age and maturity)
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Each parent’s ability to provide a stable, safe environment
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Who has been the primary caregiver
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Each parent’s physical and mental health
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Any history of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence
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Cooperation between parents and willingness to co-parent
The goal is to create a parenting plan that promotes stability and allows the child to maintain strong relationships with both parents when possible.
Equal Parenting Time is More Common
Many courts now encourage joint custody or shared parenting time, where both parents play an active role in the child’s life. That doesn’t always mean a perfect 50/50 split, but it does mean that courts look for ways to keep both parents involved unless there’s a compelling reason not to.
In some cases, mothers may still receive the majority of parenting time, especially if they were the child’s primary caregiver during the marriage. However, fathers who are engaged, responsible, and willing to co-parent often have strong legal footing to request substantial—or even majority—custody time.
What Fathers (and Mothers) Should Know
If you’re going through a divorce and concerned about custody, here are a few important tips:
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Document your involvement in your child’s life (school, doctor visits, activities)
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Be cooperative and respectful with the other parent
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Stay active in parenting during and after the divorce
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Consult a qualified family law attorney to guide you through the legal process
Final Thoughts
So, is it true that mothers always get custody? No. Today’s courts focus on the child—not outdated assumptions about gender roles. Both mothers and fathers have equal opportunity to be awarded custody, depending on the facts of the case and what arrangement best serves the child’s needs.
If you’re facing a custody dispute or divorce, an experienced family law attorney can help protect your rights and guide you toward a fair outcome.
Carroll, Papp & Cunabaugh, Attorneys at Law, located in Crystal Lake and Harvard are experienced in a variety of areas of law such as family law, divorce, criminal law, real estate law, business law and more.